Sleep to live, in my case Live to Sleep.

You know what I like best about that sore, dreadful week where I have been neck deep in work? Hint: It begins with an Ess. Nope, not Saturday. I was thinking more on lines of Sunday. Now I must confess that the wide eyed girl happens to be the biggest self-confessed lover of Sleep. And good food. And I’ll tell you this, Sundays are equivalent to sleeping-like-you’re-dead and delightful breakfasts for me. I’d intended to make this one about Sundays and the array of awesome things Sunday brings with it. But since I have already gone down the sleep lane, let me go further. So let me explain the ‘sleep-like-you’re-dead’ phenomenon(again, I came up with this). When I sleep, in that weird C-wanting to become-S position, with my eyes shut and mouth slightly open(not always, but it just sounds funny), I’m dead to the world! No normal or paranormal activity, no sound of a pin drop or an eruption from a mountain standing right next to me, spewing out its ‘stuff’ on me, no nails scratching on the board, no roomie trying to jerk me awake hopelessly, oh, and no alarms (I have the most notorious history with those) will ever be successful in making me even consider getting up. So this is what I do when my alarm rings in the morning and I’m not even kidding. After an hour of it ringing like a bitch right under my pillow, the sonorous waves filtering in through the fibres of my pillow and striking my ear and miserably rejected bouncing back, I decide that my roomie should at that instant when she’s having a nice, sound dream have my alarm shoved into her face! And you know what, she is not even allowed to resist. One loud grunt from me and she decides that if she wants to live long enough to produce babies (she’s dippy on babies!), she should deal with the wretched alarm, in whatever way. To hell with getting up on time. You see, I have my priorities in place. Now getting back to my original strain of thought on Sundays. Sundays, if only there was ever a thing so ideal! Get a load of this, Sundays work like this for me. I sleep till my brain is on the verge of bursting because it just can’t sleep anymore. It yeans to stretch its arms and rub its eyes but I just wouldn’t have any of it.Let me tell you about the elements which are most conducive to my oh-so-precious sleep:
• Watching some mind-numbing TV with the lights out, the pillow semi plopped against the bed, body forming an obtuse-angle, comforter pulled up to the neck(that is never compromised on). I was watching Rachel Allen’s bake last night in that position and even that seemed blissful.
• Making sure that the comforter acts like an envelope to your body and you tuck in all the ends of the comforter under yourself. That ways, there is no cold corner left around your lair and every inch of you is warm. It must be a sin to feel so good and sleepy!
• Try this: Since the comforter is up to your neck, and you are in the C-wanting to become-S position, draw up your shoulder blades so that they touch your ears. I know it sounds terribly quirky, but believe it when it’s coming from me. It works or what!
• Make sure that your hair does not fall on your face, it irritates the living daylights out of me and makes me all crabby and most importantly, it kills my sleep. *Hmmphh*
• The biggest incentive for sleep to come to me has to be thoughts of good food. I think watching ‘Bake’ last night worked on me. While Rachel Allen was whipping up some lemon tarts on the screen, I could bet I was tasting them when my mind switched off.
• This has to be my personal favourite. Listening to music when you’re all curled in the warmest spot on the bed. Listen to a track on repeat(I do that when a track gets to me) till your mind switches off and the track now plays softly in the background of your peaceful slumber. I could almost fall off to sleep imagining that feeling.
• There is nothing like the shut eye after a day of hard work and elbow grease. The feeling of falling off to sleep before your eyes shut or your head hits the pillow is the most satiating.

More will follow as I re-discover the magic of sleep everyday. I need food now. More later.

Chronicles of the wide eyed girl

All those times when I saw plays and thought about my big Broadway dream, I could never really figure how close would I actually get to living that one up. So let me start from the scratch, I was not what you would ordinarily expect from a girl who was passionate about acting to be like. Lets break the "Oooh I want to be an actress when I grow up" stereotype, shall we. Undeniably, I had my share of stand tall(but of course! I was wearing my mom's stilettos), wear mother's red lipstick and spritz her perfume and stare at my image, posing in the mirror for hours, phase. But I NEVER wanted to be an 'actress' when I grew up.I had a panache for acting from the time I was very little, or at least I think :) "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven."It was not exactly a colossal feat playing Portia from Merchant of Venice I would say, as much as it was to have played her in Class 4.
The wide-eyed girl weaved a parallel world full of plays and Broadways for herself. The dreams got bigger and shinier. With every performance. With every compliment. I almost felt my acting prowess in me :)
Stage II of this big wonderful dream: This is when the bubble bursts. That is how the cookie crumbles. Law School happened to me. Suddenly the wide eyed girl peddling her plays and scripts recoiled. Not for long, though. Like they say (or do they not?) that don't find your dreams, let the dreams find you. And so it happened.
You know how the processes of familiarization and socialization work, right? In law school, its quite like the plonk-your-posterior-on-the-couch syndrome(I came up with that). When you are new and unaccustomed, you are uneasy. Extremely. (You're surrounded by every specie of nerds there ever was, what the hell were you expecting.) And soon, you find 'your spot'. It is this nice cushy-jammy place. Comfortable. Extremely. Your posterior fits that spot on the couch just right. Read:you know where you stand and you have made your peace with that. And in my case, I found that I could, almost like an intrinsic instinct find theatre back into my life. Of course it came with all those practices at ungodly hours(Yes, we practice at 6 in the morning).There is more a possibility of the security guy who sits at the college gate of being late, than there is of our practices beginning late(Or thats how it was initially :) ).
And you know what, the dreams are just getting bigger. The theatre accomplishments in my journey so far make me happy, sure. But I get this tingling feel that this is not the end.Not so soon. The wide eyed girl has a lot of stories to tell and to act. Reveries plentiful in her backpack. All the woolgathering is a little too much, you'd say. I think so too. But its funny how when you try really hard, you cannot ever for the life of you figure out what life has planned for you. But when you are not trying all that hard, you see a pattern.
I see that pattern and hence I tell you. I will somehow find myself in a Broadway play. I mean I should, right? The musical sorts. I like musicals. And when that happens, I will find myself sitting all alone in the theater, just a day before the play kicks off, thinking about this day when the wide eyed girl, 20 something, hair hastily twisted up right at the top of her head, sat in front of her laptop screen typing all this out, watching the dream unfold in her head as she wrote.
The wide eyed girl and her phantasm live on.

Disturbiaaaa

There are certain things in life you write about, and certain things you don't. Writing is an urge..quite like an urge to pee..do it or else.!
So today when I'm finally down to writing what I want to, words escape me. Emotional upheavals do that to you =) But my writing is not going to mirror the undercurrents of my state of mind. Or so I think...
I like deja vus. Sitting huddled on my bed, earphones plugged in, sunlight streaming in(I always look towards sunlight for inspiration, sort of sunflower-ish tendencies)a characteristic writer's-something in the air. Weather's warm and placid, not the nauseating sort of heat. Yes, its clearly not a first.
Lights and sounds define a moment in time for me.. and just like that, I get sucked into a hurricane of memories. Memories so clearly etched out in my head..
*you don't have to put up a fight,
you don't have to always be right.
Let me take some of the punches,
for youuuu....tonight...*
And with goosebumps tingling my skin, all senses chipping in, coupled with pangs of nostalgia..I shut my notebook.
You're right, not all deja vus exude cheer.
And not everything in the world can be written about.

what's this about, again?

Don't understand how i end up pondering over the Yin and the Yan. Last i wrote about it was in high school, not long back from now, is it. This time I have come up with something new. I am not too sure but i've read something about Quantum Physics. The thoughts/ materials that hover around you have a direct relationship with the way you think and all, or more succinctly, what you think. There are the Yin thoughts-the positive ones and there are the Yan thoughts-the negative ones. But what really is my ground-breaking realisation is that there are also neutral thoughts. They do not have any sort of an undertone. I mean how else do you explain my strong urge to keep chanting the word 'bumble bee'. How many ever times I might say it, it does not appease my mind. I guess I just like the way it tickles my mouth. Then I shall cite another instance, as to how I am staring straight ahead, glassy-eyed and suddenly the line from the famous track , "with drops of jupiter in her hair" strikes me. This of all the line, when all there is infront of me is my balding lecturer. Maybe someone around me was humming the track...It couldn't be me, I haven't heard the track for ages now! Maybe our mind does function with cathodes and anodes and some electrolyte in the brain ensures that we attract the opposite/ similar thoughts from around us. The other time I sat imagining as to how would Pochahontas wrestle a couple of yetis to the ground. Beat it, it was an entire sequence i had imagined. Who was thinking about Pochahontas around me?I, for one had not seen Pochahontas since my childhood when I'd seen Pochahontas for the first and the last time. What vibes was my 'ol box catching when my pupils contracted and suddenly all I saw infront was a swarm of colors?
It was a whirl of colors which swarm infront of me till all I saw was an amber glow and then the whitelight shone.
To read for what i discovered thereafter, wait for another day..

life unplugged!

Have you ever felt that you've been dreaming with your eyes wide open?Have you ever felt that whatever is happening around you at the moment, is just your hallucination....because...maybe it was surreal...or it was too intimidating a time!Life can be cruel..it welcomes you with arms wide open, and just when you feel life's a walk in the park, with those very hands it closes in your neck, leaving an inch's space for you to begin valuing all that you have. You see glimpses of your life go flash past your eyes. You go back in time and relive every good time you ever had. Procrastination at its peak! You wonder if life had not been so harsh after all, what would you have been doing at that precise moment? Maybe walking down a street, not noticing the honey-sweet smell wafting in from the neareast garden, cursing your boss, feeling envious of the colleague who ended up getting that coveted promotion, feeling like a misanthrope and being grumpy in a nutshell. So when you actually work this out, while happiness seems to be ebbing out of you, you suddenly get a new lease of life. You think of how you never smiled when your friend cracked a lame joke, you think of how you never ate cotton candy on the street because you were too busy worrying about what others would have to say to that! Now life doesn't loosen its clutches so easily, but now you see hope. Life doesn't cease to take you in with bolt from the blues, but now you seek solace in the times when life was kind. And while you're at it, you realise that its times like these that you learn, and grow. Bat your eyelids n POOF the dream is broken...or maybe it never was....
this one's for all those who ignore the sweet little nothings life has to offer....i live by those small, yet significant things.

About Fever and all that it brings with it...

my first blog...why would i want to write about my Fever and how troubled i am?but i still would...know why?because it would make for an interesting read;)
have you ever noticed the silly tricks nature plays...the day the weather man up there decides that its a fine day to tune the weather and add some chills..that precise day...you are out there..."pullover-less" if there ever was a word! Body immunity system always been a little dysfunctional, but this was just the pits! Even when you do take the pains of going and grabbing a pullover from your abode, you end up falling prey to the fever bug..and How! i cried..yelled..and cried some more...till some nutrition supplements, they call food, was shoved down my oesophagus. And then the most dreaded bit, swallowing that comet-sized TABLET!!!!Like a football kicked down my throat...going bumpety-bump..hitting all the places it shouldn't!Heaven knows, it was a tough night. but i survived:)
now my body temperature has lowered, been healthy as much as to go out and eat pasta....survived to tell the tale..of how the Fever bug leaves me cold(quite literally) and gloomy!as much as i love the rains..they sometimes do dispel all the warmth out of my life and leave me soaked and ill! and guess what..its raining...but i am a rooftop away from it;)